What's in a Gift?

      According to Emerson, the purpose of a gift is to satisfy another individual's void of something. Therein lies this belief of universal dependence, in which we are all indebted to each other. In saying this, I can definitely see the truth in it. We give because there is a need...at the holidays or whenever, I sometimes fill out those slips to St. Vincent's or Covenant House or somewhere, so I can give someone a Christmas dinner. Other times I'll share my snack with a friend who's hungry at milkbreak. It's not something grandiose, but when I'm able to, and since I've made a habit of doing it, it doesn't seem like a big deal to me.

Another instance where giving exhibits this concept of universal dependence I find most often in community service. Many of the organizations I've volunteered at are run by people who don't even get paid. Of the many places I've been to, I'd have to say my visit to St. Vincent's was by far one of the most rewarding experiences. I was there for only a few hours, but watching those little kids gaze in amazement as my friends and I made chicken fingers and rice krispies was so different from what I'm use to. I can't count the number of times I've been to a 

restaurant where someone's upset about the food, and sends their meal back...and here I was with these kids who are basking in such gratitude of what we were doing...cooking chicken fingers  and rice krispies. When we left, it was hard to go because I sincerely wished I could help those kids more, but in the end, I left with a new outlook on the whole 

'giving of yourself' concept. 

Yeah, those envelopes at the holidays definitely help these kids, but actually seeing them, and watching how gracious they were to us...strangers, who knew nothing about them or where they came from, yet they accepted us anyways. In a sense it made me feel really guilty, here these kids were, acting more mature than I have been at times. All those birthdays I got upset over people getting me something I didn't really want...yet in another sense it made me want to look at things a different way-to be more appreciative for what I have. I guess until you take a step back and see everything in retrospect, you don't understand the full scope of what you have.

Another concept Emerson brings up about gifts is how the only true gift we can give is of ourselves. I definitely think in service, or rather through the time we give to people, that is the most we can give, to anyone. It's so easy to just buy something and tie a bow on it-something with a monetary price. It is in this sentiment Emerson points out how materialistic our society has become, and the effervescent competition that lies within every gift we have ever given or received. Stemming back to the whole 'giving out of necessity' idea, Emerson says that when more than what is asked is given, the receiver instantly becomes subservient to the giver.

This is almost always the case when people feel responsible to match, or outdo a gift they have been given. I hate when this happens, because this usually means giving the most expensive gift, which oftentimes defeats the purpose of giving a gift in the first place. At this point in Emerson's essay, he says that we should only then give gifts that we can actually give...poet-poem; shepherd-lamb; farmer-corn; painter-picture; etc, etc. I mean, I guess in doing this you are definitely putting forth your own effort-like making a birthday card instead of just buying one...however, I know personally, there have been gifts that I've given to people...that have just been perfect....and there's absolutely no way I would have either a. thought of the the gift on my own volition & b. if I had thought of it, I probably wouldn't have been able to actually make the gift. I mean there comes a point where you've given a person one too many beaded, knitted, half-finished gifts.

Now, I'm not saying that homemade gifts are bad...there's a time and a place for them...i.e. homemade cookies usually trump store-bought ones. But in the same sense, it's also nice to receive those polished, finished off gifts from the store as well. Emerson explains that the reason we lean towards store gifts is because society does not already afford it to us. We want 

too much, therefore in comparison, our own handmade whatevers are insignificant to our department store, pre-wrapped novelties.

Following in the same respect of gift giving, Emerson then goes on to speak about gift receiving. It seems in the light he portrays it, receiving a gift is far worse than giving, in that the whole predicament is very much a catch 22. There's no right answer. How do we tell someone, who is giving us a gift, that we don't like it, without hurting them? Emerson says it is wrong to accept a gift with emotion, rather we must be stoic and poker-faced. We cannot 'rejoice nor grieve' at gifts, because then we learn to associate our feelings with the gifts, rather than with the person giving them to us.

The expectation of gratitude is also frowned upon. The reason why it is bad, is because like with the competition mentioned earlier, gift givers are therefore always on eggshells to please the person they are giving the gift to. At this point, I seem to differ with Emerson. I think the concept is good, but realistically, if someone gives you a present and you don't acknowledge it with enthusiasm and gratitude, the giver may think that they have done something wrong.

Even if you don't like a gift, often times that person has spent quite a bit of time thinking about you. I mean, I have had times when I've unwrapped a present...and seriously questioned if I actually opened up the wrong thing, because the gift was not at all what I even remotely wanted...but...for the most part, people usually take a person's interests into consideration when getting them a gift, and if you don't like the gift...it's like they've done something wrong as a friend...or worse...you're an ungracious friend. Taking this all into consideration, I don't think I could be an Emersonian gift-giver...for the simple reason being, I like making homemade presents for people, but in all honesty, I usually don't have time to execute the gift properly. So, I guess I could give the person my half-glued, falling apart creation, or just buy  them something that reminds me of them, and that I think they would like. 

I think the best "Emersonian" gift that I have ever received were these two pictures I got for my sixteenth birthday. They were from my younger sister. I was completely surprised when she gave them to me, because when I opened up the present, I found these two frames with all of these Photobooth pictures. I mean to anyone else, they're just silly pictures, but to me, they're so much more than that. I don't know how to verbalize exactly what sentiment they hold, but whenever I look at them, it just reminds me of all the amazing times we've had together. It's so bizarre how a picture can invoke memories...but maybe the saying's true...a picture truly is worth a thousand words. In all veracity, a true gift should not be equated with price or brand. Rather the sentiment that gift holds for you is what I think makes a gift important.

Photo Credits~Flickr

a gIFt~andreteixiera

newport sunset~stu1406

a holiday gift~jeff clow

rainy Sunday~c.mariani

ava thursday:my bdaycard~wardomatic