In today's society, it is so hard to maintain individuality, especially when everything you know and observe offers a very different standpoint. Most often times we make decisions based on what we perceive will result in the best reaction from our peers. An instance where this precedent precedes itself is when people tell jokes. You tell them to a rise out of people, to get that laugh, and to regain an essence of self-assurance. However, if after you've told the joke, no one laughs, the circumstance becomes awkward, and you brush it off as a "you had to be there" to actually get the joke.
In a sense, it's good that we strive to assimilate to one another. By doing so we gain comradery, or in a larger sense, the belief of belonging. This provides stability, which reflects in self-confidence...or self-reliance (no pun intended). However, meshing with the general ideas of the public can often times lead to a loss of self and individuality. It is that quality of being different, of standing apart from the crowd that makes us who we are. When we all look the same, think the same, and inevitably act the same, what are we?
I always think it's important to keep that sense of who you are, because if you lose it...well, it's like I keep hearing about colleges and the admission process. What makes you unique? Why would that school want you? I mean, realistically, life isn't all about trying to stand out just to stand out. It has to be true and sincere. Again, like with the college applications, and how people sometimes just cram a bunch of activities, because they think a variety of extra-curriculars will make their application better. I mean, in a sense this is good, but at what expense? Are you doing it to please that college administrator looking at your packet? Or are you trying to try new things for your own sake?
I remember when I was little, my schedule was so hectic...looking back I'm not sure how I did it. I think the list went something like: gymnastics, dance, piano, french, girl scouts, etc etc etc. I mean yeah, I was little...trying to figure out what I actually liked, and what I didn't. Looking back, I'm glad I wanted to try so many things, because I've kept up with many of them, and the ones I haven't, I can at least say that I've tried them.
In retrospect, I can definitely say that what I did when I was little has had an impact on who I am today. I did what I wanted to do, not because it was something everyone else was doing. In many cases, what I wanted to do did end up being what a lot my friends did too...so that was a plus. However, I know that there were times when I was the only one wanting to do something...and I had to choose whether or not to do it. If my friends weren't doing it, was it bad if I wanted to do it? What grew from this was my own sense of self-reliance, in that, when I'm given the opportunity to do something, I make my decision based on what I want to do, and if my friends want to do it too...great!...if not...oh well.
Of course, like everyone else, I care what people think about me...but not to the point that I'll reinvent myself for someone. I stand for what I believe in...if you don't like what I have to say, let's discuss. I think it's pointless when people try endlessly to 'convert' you to see things how they do. If people all thought the same...then we'd be where this entire essay stems from...not doing what concerns you, rather trying to do that which pleases others.
If standing my own sets me apart from the crowd, then so be it. I'm not saying I'm about to do something crazy...but if someone challenges what I believed value...and is going to base a friendship or relationship on my response...then I don't think it's worth it to lie to them...and more importantly, to myself. To go about life just going through the motions, without any drive or desire, just because you think it's what people want to see you do, is stupid. You should do something because that is what you want to do.
In this, I think Emerson is trying to point out the cusp of realization. Yes, it is hard to be the only one going against the grain of society, but when you do, it is then that you truly become self-reliant.
Photo Credits~Flickr
tokyo~photopassjapan
no regrets~laanba
don't follow the crowd~beforethecoffee
be unique~debbi bowness
3 comments:
I think it's an interesting balance in self-reliance: living in society while keeping your own opinion. It's a really hard thing to do, and I think it's impossible to not be influenced by others' opinions, like your friends', your parents', and your peers'. The important thing is for your final decisions to be for you, and not to impress anyone else. This is like what you said with your friends wanting to do different things. You probably continued some of your activities because it was fun with your friends, but also because you enjoyed it. In the end, you still chose self-reliance with utmost importance by continuing the activities that you enjoyed even if your friends didn't. So you can gather what you will from society, but make it your own and agree with what you express.
Anafran!
Wow... You have so many great ideas embodied in this response. I agree with your comments about staying true to yourself in the midst of a crowd. I think that with today's societal standards the kids who are applying to college find themselves trying to please a societal misconception about being the perfect teenager, which is impossible! It's as if when kids think of participating in an activity they ask themselves "would this look good on my college resume?". For me, like you, I participate in activities because I am passionate about whatever it is. Emerson's thoughts conerning self-reliance are quite appliacable to today, but at the same time very difficult to follow through with concerning all the pressures we face today. Great job on this response!
"In a sense, it's good that we strive to assimilate to one another. By doing so we gain comradery, or in a larger sense, the belief of belonging. This provides stability, which reflects in self-confidence...or self-reliance (no pun intended). However, meshing with the general ideas of the public can often times lead to a loss of self and individuality."
I find this a very good point. At some point we feel like we need to be like other people but do so can also change us for the worse. for example the ads and pressure we get from people can change us to a person we have vowed to ourselves we would never be. We can start agreeing with everyone and not form our own ideas.
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